Rachel Ray, Dunkin Donuts, Michelle Malkin, and sheer idiocy

If you're in the film business, sometimes you think in terms of scripts. As in, "Wow, that would make a great scene," or "Hmmm, I might be able to use that line somewhere." The flip side is that sometimes you encounter something so bizarre, so off the wall, that you think "If I put that in a script, no one would believe it."

Every now and then, in the political world, we encounter something like this - something so strange it defies belief. Since the election of George Bush, and, in particular, since his reelection, this has become less and less common, as the boundaries of the real and the surreal have become blurred.

But today we learn that Dunkin' Donuts has pulled an ad starring Rachel Ray because some right wing bloggers, in particular Michelle Malkin, think that a scarf she was wearing in said ad looked like a keffiyeh, the headdress some Arab men wear.

How is this possible? How is this possible on this planet, in this country, in this century?

Hunter at DailyKos has a great takedown on this nonsense.

To bring America to its knees, all Bin Laden must do is make his next video while drinking from a can of Coca Cola. The nation would erupt in chaos; Coca Cola sales would vanish into nothingness.

But wait, there's more! Dunkin Donuts sells coffee, and probably sells "arabica" coffee. Oooh! Scary! There's a plot there! The message that we're supposed to get when we drink "arabica" coffee is that the terrorists are after us and we're all going to die! Somehow! Some time! For some reason! Which may or may not have anything to do with Dunkin Donuts in any way shape or form! But WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE, and Dunkin Donuts is serving "arabica" coffee! OMIGOD!

And did you know that Rachel Ray is part Sicilian?!?!? Maybe she's not just a terrorist sympathizer, but she might know people in THE MAFIA!

I am trying to imagine the logic at work here, and it just befuddles me. First of all, my understanding of the keffiyeh is that it's a checked pattern, and the scarf that she's wearing is paisley. Or at least not checked. It's just a black and white scarf. You know who else wears a black and white checked pattern? Most cooks working in restaurants in America - that's the standard pattern for pants worn in kitchens.

But even if it does have some vague resemblance to a keffiyeh, so what? Does anyone seriously think that either Dunkin Donuts or Rachel Ray has any reason whatsoever to make an association between themselves and Islamic terrorists? Both Rachel Ray and Dunkin Donuts are solid capitalists. They act in their own best interests. How could it possibly be in their best interests to demonstrate any kind of affiliation or sympathy with Al Queda?

You know what else Islamic terrorists wear? Blue jeans. I bet some of them wear Levi's.

What is truly beyond comprehension is that the greatest economic relationship Americans have with Islamic countries is that we buy oil from them. Thomas Friedman pounds this home relentlessly - we have an incredibly stupid energy policy that has us sending money to people who hate us.

And Michelle Malkin is worried that a cute, perky American TV personality who is selling donuts is wearing something that has the same colors - black & white - as something that is sometimes worn by terrorists.

The best thing about this is that it proves beyond all possible shadow of a shred of a sliver of a doubt that the woman is completely, utterly bonkers. Right now she is doing the Democratic Party and Barack Obama a huge favor just by existing.