Hillary supporters learning to deal

Kos has a great post about Hillary supporters going through the five stages of grief. He thinks they've gone through the first three so far:

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining

Depression and acceptance come next.

I have been thinking about what acceptance is going to look like. I've heard of Hillary supporters who are furious at the way things have turned out, and who say that they are going to vote for McCain. I can understand the anger and disappointment. Hillary supporters had every reason to support her. She's clearly capable of being president. She's clearly much more capable, competent and compassionate than just about any man who wants the job. She's light years ahead of the current occupant.

I imagine it is confusing to be a Hillary supporter at this point and be wondering, what the hell just happened here? How did Hillary go from being the front runner to an also-ran? She hasn't really made any bad mistakes, at least not any obvious ones. She had almost every possible advantage; a former President at her side, the greatest network ever for a presidential candidate, lots of money. She hasn't committed any unforgiveable gaffes, although the line about "hard-working Americans, white Americans" wasn't the most enlightened.

And what is it with Obama? Why are people flocking to him? He just gives great speeches, but he doesn't have anything approaching Hillary's record.

I would agree with all of this, except one part. Against any other candidate, Hillary would have cruised to the nomination. She beat out all the other men in the race without breaking a sweat.

She ran a good campaign. But Obama ran a great one. She made one mistake, but it was fatal: she underestimated her opponent. And by the time she realized it, he was already too far ahead. Underestimating your opponent, particularly to the extent she did, is an unforgivable mistake at this level. Of course, she also had some serious personnel problems, she didn't manage her finances well, and her husband turned out to be a liability. She probably could have recovered from all of those mistakes if she hadn't made that one big one.

But I am not that worried about Hillary supporters, for a couple of reasons. First of all, Hillary did something dramatic in this campaign that few people have noticed: she became her own person. She is no longer a former First Lady, or a Senator from New York. She is the first woman to have a serious shot at winning the presidency. She got out from under her husband's shadow. She is no longer Mrs. Bill Clinton. She is one of very few people who are known by one name. She is Hillary. She won the adoration and respect of millions.

But the real reason that I am not worried about Hillary supporters is that I think they will realize, some time after she concedes, that they will be OK without her. Many, many women identified with Hillary. They projected their dreams onto her, they saw her as standing up for all of them, winning the good fight against the bastards they have known and fought.

But they don't need her. She has broken through one ceiling, but she could never do everything. She has changed the world for women, she's provided a good role model for girls, and, I'm sure, she would have done a lot of good for women if she had made it to the White House. But she can't fight every battle for every woman.

I've never had to worry about what it would be like if the president looked like me. I'll never completely understand how important it is to women to see other women in positions of power. I will never get how important Hillary is to her supporters. I can think about it, but I'll never "get it." But I also know lots and lots and lots of strong, powerful women who have managed just fine without Hillary Clinton in the White House, and will manage just fine without her in the White House.

There will be a woman in the White House in my lifetime. Of that I am confident. The new Speaker of the Assembly in California is Karen Bass, an African-American woman. Think about this: she is now in roughly the same position that Barack Obama was in eight years ago, if not ahead of him. She is "the first African American woman to lead a legislative body in U.S. history."

She will not be the last. Barring the unforeseen, Hillary will be conceding any day now. I have not been impressed with the campaign that she has run. I'm glad she lost. These last few months have been a long series of disappointment and disillusionment for me; I have forever lost a great deal of the respect that I had for both Clintons. But on one thing I think we can all agree: Hillary is tough. On that score, I have to admit that my respect for her has increased. She's definitely a fighter.

Hillary will survive. As will everyone who voted for her.